First Appointment

Today I had my appointment at Planned Parenthood for their transgender services. I had an hour of waiting and paperwork before I was called back, and then some more waiting and paperwork, but these minor hassles are nothing compared to what I'll be getting. I learned all about the effects of testosterone on the body, and which changes are permanent and which changes would revert back if testosterone was discontinued. The clinician I spoke with was very affirming. There were a few things she needed to look into before we proceed, and I have to have fasting bloodwork done (which I hope to get done early next week). One of the questions is what the effects would be if I continued on my birth control pills, which stop my periods, until I'd been on testosterone a few months, long enough for that to make my periods stop. Otherwise, what's the best way to transition from the birth control to the testosterone with the fewest possible episodes of menses. I haven't had a period in nearly two years. I'm not looking forward to having to deal with that again. I'm also not looking forward to stabbing myself in the leg every two weeks. I'm the sort of person who looks away when getting a shot. It'll take some serious willpower at first to give them to myself. I'm not sure when this will happen exactly. It depends on whether I need to detox from the birth control, as well as how my labs come back. If my triglycerides are still high, they may want me to get that under control first. Thankfully, one thing they do not require is a Pap smear/pelvic exam, although they do encourage them.

It was interesting to be consistently called Jacob throughout the two plus hours I was there. At first, in the waiting room, I got kind of anxious when they called for Jacob and I got up to go to the front window as instructed. I wondered what people were thinking about me. But no one seemed to notice or care that a female-bodied person was answering to a male name. It's going to take some time to get used to people calling me a new name. And I'm not sure when I'll be ready to start having supportive people call me Jacob. I really need to start the name-change process.

Change is scary, even changes I want.