Reflections, five days post-op

I got to see my new chest today, for a brief moment before the bandages were replaced and the binder re-affixed. It looks really good. Yes, it has some healing to do, but it's symmetrical and flat and looks like I hoped it would. The bandages on it now are a lot less bulky, so my chest feels flatter. In a couple days I'll get the stitches out on my nipple grafts, and from that point I'll be able to shower daily, giving me time to get fully acquainted with my chest during those periods in which the binder is off.

This still feels too good to be true. The chest, the hormones, transitioning on the job. There are still uncertainties. I still waver before deciding upon which restroom to choose in public settings (although I've used the men's room the last few times and no one has said anything, let alone chased me out). I'm still not sure what restroom I'll be using at work when I return next Monday. I still worry about being or acting or appearing or sounding too feminine. I wonder if I can be accepted by other men. I've found that I'm fine around gay and trans men, but I get self-conscious around straight bio-guys. One thing is certain - surgery isn't an end point, at least not for me. It's a step along the path of transition.